Congratulations! You’ve published a book, and people are lining up to buy it. Now begins the trickiest part of an author’s journey: signing your own book.
You’ve read an excerpt, charmed the crowd. You’ve perfected the swooshy drama of your signature. Uncap your Official Signing Pen. Take a seat.
Lined up at your signing table are:
- Your high school Home Ec teacher, whose class you nearly failed.
- Your own former students, one of whom you nearly failed.
- Another professor’s students, attending for the extra credit, or else they’ll fail.
- All of your mother’s law partners.
- Your father, who can’t believe his sweet child grew up to write this grim book.
- Several strangers who wandered over when you read the dirty parts.
What do you write? Best Wishes? Keep Laughing? Every inscription seems too generic or too clichéd, especially for a writer. Oh no, did you really just write the word Awesome? Wait, does your beloved mentor’s name have one “n” or two? Does this pen have an eraser? Great, now you’re smudging. Continue reading